Acceptance: easy to say, hard to do!
Acceptance: easy to say, hard to do!
The word acceptance has many wonderful connotations. Generally there are two forms of acceptance that are used in the popular psychology and self help arenas. The first is acceptance as it is found in ACT – acceptance and commitment therapy. It relates to having a sense of acceptance with what may arise in yourself in response to the world and it's many ways. Here’s a juicy quote:
“Acceptance means opening up and making room for painful feelings and sensations. You learn how to drop the struggle with them, give them some breathing space, and let them be there without getting all caught up in them, or overwhelmed by them; the more you can open up, and give them room to move, the easier it is for your feelings to come and go without draining you or holding you back.” www.actmindfully.com.au/acceptance_&_commitment_therapy
The other form of acceptance is acceptance of self or self-acceptance. Here’s another juicy quote with some very fruity spelling and grammar. Eh, lets be accepting:
“With self acceptance you are happy with whom you are now. Is being loving to you. Is to approve whom you are. All parts of you, even the ones that dislike you. It means being nonjudgmental toward you. To have self-love.
Self acceptance is a choice. Because you decide to accept yourself unconditionally despite of your deficiencies. The truth is that we all have negative feelings regarding ourselves. For many years I wasn't aware of my lack of acceptance. In general I could say that I accepted myself. However, I always found something I didn't love.
This attitude kept me stuck in many areas. I couldn't move on in my life. I suffered a lot of stress and tension.” www.selfesteemawareness.com/self-esteem-self-acceptance.htm
Both of these ideas are of great value. They sound worthwhile. They read as though they mean something. Many people can read them and relate.People think of acceptance, feel the need for it and for a moment can dream.
But as I wrote: acceptance, easy to say hard to do
Dreaming of winning lotto is not the same as winning lotto. Dreaming of acceptnace is not the same as acceptance. Acceptance is a hard enough road without imagining that the sign post is the destination; that the word and speaking it and feeling it is the same as doing it; that wishing for something is all it takes. The metaphor of the finger pointing at the moon - don't mistake the finger for the moon and pointing at the moon is not the same as going to the moon, appreciating the moon or watching the moon.
Accepting what is taking place and accepting yourself as you are is seriously significant learning. Iys in the spiritual realm really. It is a deep process. A person's path to this is often unique, contextual, requires assistance and at times will power. It is the kind of work that lends itself to psychodramatic enactments. Such as the free intro evenings here or the weekend workshops here.
All the best on your journey towards acceptance, self or otherwise. Call if you want to discuss our programs or have coffee.
PS: And there is the universal conundrum: How do I accept myself if I don’t accept myself. That is: how do I accept that I don’t accept myself. It is the classic prisoner’s dilemma!